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mantra

October 16, 2010

Sometimes, I while away my free time by reading all kinds of crazy and gorgeous blogs. I see the exciting places where people live, the mouthwatering things they get to do for a living. Or I just talk to loved ones at home and all over the world, and I wonder what it would be like to be doing what they’re doing now. In the more difficult moments, I imagine and start longing. And I just have to remind myself. Maybe take a breath of smoky, dusty, sunny air and stare at this city from above.

Yes, I am here.
And yes, it is beautiful.

This week flew by. I am exhausted. I am busy but still feeling out the right balance of various elements in my life. I’ve been here a month! I can hardly believe it. Feels like less, feels like more.

Yes, I am here.

Someday I will have to tell you about how my teaching is going, but after it settles down a bit and I have more time to reflect. Right now, I’m doing three children’s/youth classes, one adult. I will be adding another adult class this week, and there are a possible two more in the works–we’ll see how my program evolves as we go on. (Things are very evolutionary around here. You go with the flow, but there is sometimes very little directing that flow.) All of the classes are small, once a week, revolving-door: they’re free, so whoever comes, comes. The adult class is the most rewarding, but the kids have wormed their way into my heart, too. Even the ones who throw tantrums and storm out when I refuse to give in to them. (Someday…I will also talk about the different style of discipline here and how it influences what happens in the classroom.)

Yes, it is beautiful.

I passed a kid on the stairs today–he was going up while I was going down–and a little further down I passed a smaller boy, huffing and puffing and yelling, “Wait for me! I said, wait!!” I asked him offhandedly if he was tired and he launched into his complaint: “Yes, because I TOLD my brother to wait for me and he won’t WAIT for me!! I am so mad at him!” As he continued to mutter indignant things about his older brother even after I said goodbye, I realized: if there’s anything that’s universal in this world, it’s the older-younger sibling dynamic. How reassuring.

Tonight, my roommate and I ate a makeshift tuna salad for dinner and finished it off with weird local ice cream. And I don’t remember what we talked about, really, only that we laughed our heads off and spent a lot of time agreeing with one another. I’ve only been here a month–or I’ve already been here a month, depending on how you see it–but I am so thankful for this relationship. Because I think without her, I would be so much less at home right now.

And even though there are a lot of things up in the air, a lot of things I’m really trusting in God about, I am thankful to Him because I am here and it is beautiful.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Brian permalink
    October 17, 2010 1:25 am

    Glad to see you’re doing well, Stephanie!

  2. Dad permalink
    October 19, 2010 2:41 am

    i know it is much easier said than done when someone reminds you to enjoy the moment but that’s what life is all about. it could always be better. it could always be more settled. but even the transition, as messy as it can be at times is a wonderful thing. yeah, you’ve been there a month already, a month! already! enjoy the beauty around you, soak it in and let each passing moment bless you because God’s presence is all around you and also His fragrance. i hope you smell them often, too. and by the way i miss you a lot. hope you were here to enjoy the beauty of autumn with me. but then we might next year. take care sweetheart.

  3. October 20, 2010 10:24 pm

    thanks brian. 🙂 and thanks daddy!! you are the wisest. love you and miss you.

  4. jkim6 permalink
    October 27, 2010 3:08 am

    Do they sell Turkish ice cream in Jordan?

    • November 3, 2010 10:28 am

      i don’t know about turkish ice cream…you mean like in korea?! hahaha. and obviously no one says “ana masri ibni masri” here…

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